Supporters and doubters can both serve you in life's journey
Awareness of supporters and doubters helps leverage these forces
Wherever you are in life’s journey there will be people who will build you up and those who will attempt to do the opposite. I call them supporters and doubters.
In my new book Seeing Red Cars—Driving Yourself, Your Team, and Your Organization to a Positive Future I discuss these two types in Chapter 4, Tune In and Take Charge. When you consciously focus on what you want, both these types can serve you.
Utilize Supporters
“Been There, Done That” supporters are often referred to as mentors. They may be in your industry, but they may be outside your industry as well. Fresh perspectives and creative innovation can come from these relationships. Ask them early on to challenge your assumptions and provide honest feedback in all interactions.
“Walk a Mile in Another’s Shoes” supporters are the people who are on a similar journey as you. Having partners on a similar journey provides key learning. They also provide needed support and, from time to time, a shoulder to cry on or an empathetic heart to listen to you unload your frustrations.
“I’ll Always Love You, But That Doesn’t Mean I Won’t Challenge Your Assumptions” supporters are friends who know you well and are familiar with your desires. They may not know all the details, but they have a general idea of the big picture you’re shooting for. They’ll love you even if you get off track, and they’ll gently let you know. They’ll also challenge your assumptions and try to help you stay on the path to a well-rounded you. They are advocates for your journey.
Utilize Doubters
There inevitably will be doubters along the way. The doubters are quick to tell you that they don’t think you can do it, whatever “it” may be. For some people, the drive to prove them wrong is a huge motivator. If doubters turn on your inner motivation, go ahead and listen to them, and then get inspired to take action.
I often tell this story: When I was a senior in high school, I was a narrator and actor in a church musical. After the performance, a woman who was a family friend approached me and said, “Laura, I had no idea you had any talent whatsoever.” Her words have no doubt served me in a positive way. I never felt vengeful, just motivated.
For other people, doubters have a huge de-motivating impact. If doubters bring you down, learn to deflect them. They’re easy to spot because they constantly use words like can’t, don’t, and won’t. It takes intentional discipline to recognize that the source of the comments is a doubter and you need to deflect the doubter, shift your car back into drive, and keep on going toward what you want.
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Who are the supporters and doubters in your life? How can each serve you?
What can you do to surround yourself with more supporters who will build you up?
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Seeing Red Cars the book is available from popular retailers through our book website, seeingredcarsbook.com.
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Laura Goodrich
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Seeing Red Cars — Mindset to Win — Forbes Magazine
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